Last week we talked about how we can have a
happier new year. We noted that 10% of
our happiness is circumstantial, 50% is genetic, how we are made and wired and
40% is what we do, things we have control over that will produce happiness in
our lives.
We looked at two areas; given generously and
being connected. People who give
systematically, spontaneously and sacrificially are happier people. They have learned that it is better to give
than receive. Happy people are also
connected to other people. God has made
us in such a way that when we are connected with other people with whom we can
share our lives, we are much happier people. People who have support of a small
group whether it is formal or informal experience a fuller life and accomplish
more. Rick Warren’s church, Saddleback,
has many small groups. Last year they promoted healthier living and encouraged
people to lose weight. They found that
people in small groups lost twice as much weight as people who were not a part
of a small group. We all need the
support and encouragement of other people.
I like
the acronym TEAM. Together Everyone Accomplishes More.
Tonight I
want to look at three more factors that have been researched and proven to
attribute to greater happiness in our lives.
One factor is that people who have
set goals and work to achieve them are happier people.
Many people make New Year’s resolutions of things they want to change or
accomplish. The likelihood of
accomplishing these goals depends on several factors. May be you have seen the acronym SMART that
is used to define a goal.
S. It must be specific. It has to be to the point, not a vague goal
that you will not know whether you have achieved it.
M. It must
also be measurable. This helps you know
if you are making progress toward achieving it.
A. It must
be attainable. It has to be something
you can actually do. It should fit your
strengths and gifts.
R. It must
be realistic. It has to be something
that is in the realm of possibility for you. It should stretch you but not bend
you out of shape and frustrate you because it is unrealistic.
T. Finally
it must be timely. You have to have a
set time in which you will accomplish your goal. You should have daily goals,
weekly goals, monthly goals, yearly goals, 5 year goals etc.
When we think about setting a goal, it has to
be a goal that you set for yourself, coming from intrinsic motivation. If someone else sets a goal for you it may
not be in line with who you are, what you want to accomplish and what you enjoy
doing. Goals chosen by you are more
likely to be achieved and will add meaning to your life. Your goals should reflect your true desires,
what you value and find important in life.
A goal needs
to be broken down into doable segments.
If my goal is to run a marathon, I will need to set goals for the amount
of miles I run each day that will prepare me for race day. One of my goals this year is to read through
the Spanish bible chronologically. I
signed up for the You Version plan that divides the bible into chapters to read
each day. It is a very doable plan and measures my progress each day. If your goal is not specific you will not be
able to break it down into doable segments.
Your goals
must not be conflicting. If one goal is
keeping you from achieving another goal then one of them has to go. You have a limited amount of time each day to
work on your goals. If you are spending
too much time in one area then another area will most likely suffer.
In order to
attain your goals you will need to build in some support structure. Studies have shown that people who have the
support of others do much better at achieving their goal. Find someone who you can count on to help you
be accountable and will be an encouragement to you. If you struggle with self-discipline you will
benefit greatly by having someone supporting you.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 speaks to the value of
having companionship
Two are
better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they
fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls
and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm,
but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who
is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Setting goals and working to achieve them
will help you create the future that you want.
If you simply life your life floating from one thing to another you will
not accomplish much and you will most likely waste the talents and abilities
God has given you. We all need a “bucket
list” of worthwhile things that we want to accomplish for the glory of
God. Setting a goal and making a
determination to accomplish it will be costly. Nothing of value is achieved
without costing you something. Setting
goals and making the sacrifices and daily choices to work toward their
achievement will bring greater happiness to your life. Don’t waste your life in
idleness, laziness or in the pursuit of things that are not worth your time,
effort or money. Life is short and like
Moses, we need to have wisdom in ordering our days.
Psa
90:12 So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
What are your personal goals in your
spiritual life, your academic pursuits, your family and relationships, your
physical condition, your finances and your work? I want to encourage you to take some time
this week to reflect on these areas and set some goals for this year if you
have not already done it. Write them
down and share them with someone who will help keep you on track. The joy is in the journey of pursuing the
goals as much as it is in achieving them.
Another factor in achieving happiness in our lives it to not compare
yourself with others. When we compare ourselves with others we
will either be filled with pride or feel badly about ourselves. Each of us is a unique creation of God. He does not compare you with anyone; you are
so unique that there is no one like you that he could compare you to. I have heard it said that we often live our
lives to be like someone or be liked by someone. We want what they have which is greed and
envy or we want to be liked by them because we think our worth is determined by
them. These are lies of the enemy and
will only lead to frustration, wasted energy and finances, feelings of
worthlessness and defeat.
We cannot
allow our culture or other people define who we are and how we will live. I like the story of Moses. He was an Israelite growing up in an Egyptian
home. His parents saw potential in him
and did not fear the edict of Pharoah which called for the death of all the
male babies. They sent baby Moses off in
a basket, not because he was a basket case but because they believed God had
something special for this child.
Heb 11:23-27 draws some important principles
about Moses that we can all benefit from.
By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden
for three months by his parents, because they saw that the child was beautiful,
and they were not afraid of the king's edict. By faith Moses, when he was grown
up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to be
mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.
He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of
Egypt, for he was looking to the reward.
By faith he left Egypt, not being afraid of the anger of the king, for
he endured as seeing him who is invisible
Moses refused
to be identified with the Egyptian culture.
He refused to be called the son of Pharoah. He knew his true identity and would not
compare himself with the Egyptians or allow them to define who he was. When we compare ourselves with others we
often allow them to define who we are and we lose our true identity. We want to be like them. Moses did not want to be like them, he
refused to be identified as an Egyptian.
Once he knew
who he was he made a choice to be
aligned with his true identity and suffer the same mistreatment his true
brothers and sisters received. His
choice had obvious consequences that would not be seen as very favorable yet he
knew that this is what he had to do and he was willing to face whatever came
his way. He chose to go through pain and
discomfort because he saw something of much greater value.
If we do not
know our true identity in Christ our lives will be lived pursuing temporal
rather than eternal values.
He determined what was more valuable and
stuck to his values. He did not care about being reproached. Being reproached
means
To
express disapproval of, criticism of, or disappointment in (someone).
He was willing to be criticized and be a
disappointment to his Egyptian family.
It did not matter what they said or did, he had something much greater
in mind than what they could offer.
When you live your life to please others
you will always experience criticism and disappointment from them when you do
not conform to their expectations or standards.
We can only live to be pleasing to the God. We cannot allow others to compare us to their
plans. We have to value what God values
and live our lives accordingly if we want to be happy.
The final thing about Moses is that he knew
that there would be a reward and he persevered. He was not living for the moment, if he was
he would not have left the palace. He had everything the world has to offer,
position, power and pleasure. He had a
powerful position of authority, he had the treasures of the empire at his
disposal and he had all the pleasures of sin available to him. These things did not attract Moses. He had a
goal in mind, he saw something of eternal benefit that would result from his
decisions and the course of action he would pursue. Moses had to be true to who he was. He did not let the culture define who he was,
he would not allow the comparisons between the cultures affect his decisions.
If we allow comparison in our lives and
constantly measure our lives by the accomplishment of others, we will become
someone who God never intended us to be.
We can be inspired by the accomplishments of others but we cannot
compare ourselves to others. We have to
be content with the unique identity, skills, talents and how God has made us
physically and mentally. We have to be
comfortable in our own skin and know that God treasures us and finds great joy
in our uniqueness. God does not make
clones, he only makes single, uniquely designed individuals.
A final factor I want to address tonight regarding happiness is that happy people are thankful people. “People who are grateful and practice
gratitude regularly have significantly different levels of happiness than those
who don’t.” (Cloud, p. 1204)
The scriptures admonish us to be thankful
people.
1Th 5:18
give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ
Jesus for you.
When we face circumstances that are
difficult, it is hard for us to have a thankful heart. Yet we are admonished to give thanks in
everything. Someone has said that
grateful people are happy people not happy people are grateful people. Our happiness comes from being grateful and
thankful.
#14
When we have an attitude of gratitude studies have shown that
·
People who express
gratitude are not only happier but have more energy and better outlooks on the
future
·
They’re even
physically healthier
·
Having few physical
ailments than those who don’t express gratitude.
·
They have less
emotional and psychological maladies as well.
·
Also, they show more
relational capacities and are less envious and less materialistic.
In
a study conducted with children by a group of researchers, one group was told
to simply go out and live their life as they normally would. The other group was told the same thing except
once a week they were to write down five things they were thankful for. At the end of two months the group that wrote
notes slept better, exercised more and had better health, and had better
relationships.
At times we do not see the big picture of why things happen and what
good could come from something that seems oppressive. If God is truly in control than he is able to
work all things together for his good and we can be thankful for what we are
experiencing because it is producing something of value.
Rom 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for
good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
The Hebrew word for gratitude means
confession. What are we confessing? We are confessing our dependence upon God to
be in control and working everything for our good.
The story of Corrie Ten Boom is an example of
being thankful in difficult circumstances. She was sentenced to the Nazi
concentration camp in Ravensbruck during WWII.
Over 100,000 women were sent to this camp throughout the war, most of
them Jews or people who were part of the resistance movement. Thousands were exterminated and many were
used for medical experiments. One of the
experiments involved cutting the legs of women and injecting them with the
bacteria that produces gangrene. Sulfa
drugs were given to them to try to fight the bacteria but were found
ineffective. The women were left with
horrible scars and disfigurement on their legs.
It was an absolutely horrible place to be with overcrowded and filthy
living conditions.
The barracks where Corrie ten Boom and
her sister Betsy were kept in the Nazi concentration camp Ravensbruck were
terribly overcrowded and flea-infested. They had been able to miraculously
smuggle a Bible into the camp, and in that Bible they had read that in all
things they were to give thanks, and that God can use anything for good.
Corrie’s sister Betsy decided that this meant thanking God for the fleas. This
was too much for Corrie, who said she could do no such thing. Betsy
insisted, so Corrie gave in and prayed to God, thanking Him even for the fleas.
Over the next several months a wonderful, but curious, thing happened.
They found that the guards never entered their barracks. This meant that the
women were not assaulted. It also meant
that they were able to do the unthinkable, which was to hold open Bible studies
and prayer meetings in the heart of a Nazi concentration camp. Through this,
countless numbers of women came to faith in Christ. Only at the end did they
discover why the guards had left them alone and would not enter into their
barracks. It was because of the fleas.
Church and culture blog; James White
Many times in life when something we did
not expect or want to happen does happen we can become bitter and not be open
to see what God is doing in the circumstances.
Many people have lost their jobs in the last few years as the economic
situation has declined. Yet in spite of
the hardships many people have found new jobs and careers that are much more
enjoyable than the job they lost. It has
provided many people an opportunity to escape from a job that they really did
not like to find a job that was much more fulfilling.
Gratitude and thankfulness must be a part
of our daily life. We need to express
thanks to the people who have blessed our lives and helped us get where we are
today.
“Experiments and clinical experiences
have shown that when people are given structured gratitude exercises-like
writing down things in life that they are grateful for, keeping a gratitude
journal or calling and visiting people to express gratitude to them-they become
happier as they practice those activities.”
When you express gratitude the part of
your brain that produces those feelings of happiness is stimulated.
King David before he became king was
constantly fleeing from Saul. He
depended on many people to help him survive.
When the city of Ziklag was raided while he and his men were gone,
everything including women and children were taken. God helped David and his men find the raiders
and they were able to get everything back plus all the spoil of the enemy. David decided to send gifts from the spoil to
all of the people who had helped him as an expression of his gratitude.
1Sa 30:26
When David came to Ziklag, he sent part of the spoil to his friends, the
elders of Judah, saying, "Here is a present for you from the spoil of the
enemies of the LORD."
It
is no wonder that David was loved by the people, he had a grateful heart and
gave thanks to those who had stood with him.
I want to encourage you this week to find
time to write, call or visit someone to express thanks for what they have done
for you. It will bless them and it will
bless you.
Like David we need to start our day with
thanking God for his steadfast love in the morning. Knowing you are loved is a wonderful
feeling. The security of that love gives
us confidence to live, take risks and love others. David ended his day by expressing
thankfulness for God’s faithfulness to supply for his needs throughout the
day.
Psa 92:1,2 A Psalm. A Song for the Sabbath. It is good
to give thanks to the LORD, to sing praises to your name, O Most High; to
declare your steadfast love in the morning, and your faithfulness by night,
Our happiness can reach new levels this year as we practice;
Setting goals
Not comparing ourselves with others
Being grateful and thankful people.
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