Responding to Problems

Recently in the Guatemala news there was a report of a man who was shot to death near the Immigration office in Guatemala City. I was just there a couple of weeks ago and never thought that someone would be shot in this location because of all the people who are there. The news reported that the man who was killed had been working outside the Immigration office for many years helping people with their paperwork. They speculated that someone did not like his work and decided to hire assassins to take him out. A permanent solution to one problem but it also created a series of other problems.
Problems are a part of life. Someone once said there are no problems just people. Almost all of our problems are a result of relationship issues. How we confront our problems and deal with them will determine how we will grow as believers.
At times we wish we could just push a button and have our problems disappear. I watched an episode of Bonanza, an old television show our family watched every Sunday night that presented a very unique way to deal with problems. Here is one episode in which the Cartwright family and their hired hands went to San Francisco to celebrate. Unknown to them was a ship that needed workers and they worked in cooperation with a local drinking establishment to get people in a very unique way that was also used to solve problems people caused in the bar. In the scene we will watch one of the Cartwrights, Hos who was looking for their hired men as well as his father who had disappeared after going to the bar. He came searching for answers created a stir in the bar trying to solve the missing persons problem.
A very unique way to solve a problem at least for a short period of time. But life is not that easy, problems come to us and often require a lot of thought and energy to resolve them. We are always faced with choices in how we will resolve situations and problems we encounter. I want to look at three responses to problems tonight.
Denial
The easiest thing for many people is simply deny that there is a problem. It is easy for us to deny something that in our mind does not exist. At times we have blind spots in certain areas of our life. It may be a habit or attitude that we have that has become part of our behavior and we do it unconsciously and are really unaware of its effects on other people. We are unaware of our issues until someone brings them to our attention. Once we are made aware we have a decision to make and often we choose to deny we have a problem.
A friend of mine related how his dad would come home every day, sit in his chair and read the paper and no one could interrupt him or say anything to him. His dad did not realize how his behavior was shutting out his children and building a wall of separation between them. This went on for years and it was not until recently that when he was confronted with his past behaviors. His immediate reaction was to deny that he had done anything wrong. Awhile later he realized what he had been doing and he asked his children to forgive him. For years he was blinded to what he was really doing and I am sure he wishes he could relive those days. It took years for his children to get up enough courage to confront him with many of the behaviors that had driven them away from him. He was not a very approachable person and I am sure they thought it was not worth the effort to try to talk about something he would deny being a problem. Denial is often our first reaction when we are confronted by someone who points out a fault that we have. Denial is never a solution. It only serves to alienate people from you who perhaps love you and are trying to help you. For most of us this is our usual response when someone confronts us with an issue. Our pride keeps us from really listening and accepting what the other person is telling us. It is easy for us to deny what they are saying and discredit them stating that they do not know what they are talking about. We get offended perhaps by the way it was spoken to us or by the words they spoke and we become defensive. We quickly shut these people out. When we are confronted we need to be aware of the response of our heart. We may say the right words to the person confronting us but our heart is not in agreement with them. We placate them with words yet remain in denial of what they have said. Pay attention to what is really happening in your heart. The Holy Spirit is very good at bringing an uneasy feeling when we are in denial. There will be heaviness in our spirit that we must acknowledge.

Delay
A second reaction when confronted with a problem is to delay doing anything about it. We accept the fact that there is a problem but we do not want to do anything to confront it and do what needs to be done. Sometimes we think that given enough time it will go away or if we move away the problem will not follow us. Last year there was a young man around 30 years old who lived in Antigua and came to our coffee house when we had it in operation. He came to some of our meetings and seemed to want to get his life in order. We never really knew all of his past but one day he was in Central Park in Antigua when agents from Interpol arrested him in the park and brought him back to the USA to face charges for crimes he had committed. Rather than face his problems and taking care of cleaning up his record he decided to flee to Guatemala thinking it was a safe place and he would go unnoticed. Yet I am sure that in the back of his mind, he knew that he was delaying the inevitable. He eventually went to court and was convicted and given a 5 year sentence in jail. He was in the end relieved that he finally came to terms with his past even though it meant going to jail for awhile. The Bible is pretty clear when it states, “Be sure your sin will find you out.” (Numbers 32.23). The longer we delay the greater the level of anxiety builds in our heart. King David tried this tactic of delay. He thought he had his sin covered when he committed adultery with Bathsheba and she became pregnant. His secret did not remain a secret because God would not let him get away with what he had done. It was tearing David apart and God in his mercy sent Nathan the prophet to uncover the secret and help David get the healing he needed. Psalms 32 addresses the issue David had with his own sin and how it tormented him.

Psalms 32: 3-4
3While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long.
4For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.

The longer we delay the more misery we bring to our lives. It affects us spiritually, emotionally, and physically. There really is no benefit in delaying our confession. God waited patiently for David to come to him and admit his sin but David delayed and suffered for it.

Deal Truthfully
The final option is to deal truthfully with our problem by admitting it is a problem and seeking the forgiveness and help we need to get back on track. When Nathan confronted David, David knew he had to deal with his problem, admit his sin and receive God’s forgiveness.
Psalms 51
3For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.
4Against you, you alone, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are justified in your sentence and blameless when you pass judgment.

. Unconfessed sin is really a huge ball and chain that is attached to us. It hinders us from progressing and causes great pain. When we finally deal honestly and truthfully with our problem we set in motion the healing process. The healing begins with our relationship with God because all sin is an affront to God, David acknowledge that he had sinned against God first and foremost. Once this relationship is restored the next step is to rebuild the other relationships that have been damaged by our actions and attitudes. This can be a very difficult thing to do because you have to humble yourself and go to ask forgiveness and bring restitution to the people you have offended. We put ourselves at risk of being rejected, reviled and renounced when we do this. We cannot control the reaction or response of the offended person and we have to be prepared to receive this. It will be painful and it may be costly but it can also be the first steps in restoring a relationship built on honesty and transparency. When Christ talked to Zacchaeus the tax collector, who were known for taking more money than they should have from the people, his response was pretty amazing because he offered to repay anyone he had taken money from, four times as much as he had stolen.

8 Zacchaeus stood there and said to the Lord, “Look, half of my possessions, Lord, I will give to the poor; and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will pay back four times as much.” Luke 19:8.
Restitution and restoration must always be at our own expense and it may be costly but relationships and a clean conscience are more valuable than money. The word restoration means to set a broken bone back in place. This can be painful but when the bone heals it is stronger than when it was before it was broken.
When it comes to restoring a relationship we have to be willing to do what the other person asks of us. We really are in no position to demand anything from them. As long as what they ask of us is not excessive we have to be willing to submit ourselves to do what is necessary.
If we are willing to go through confession and restitution we can be used of God to teach other’s His ways.
Once David understood what God was trying to establish truth his life through dealing with his sin he submitted himself to God to receive the forgiveness, healing and restoration he needed.

6 You desire truth in the inward being;
therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and put a new and right spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from your presence,
and do not take your holy spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you
When he completed the restoration process, we will
Have a heart that seeks to be taught God’s wisdom
Have a heart that is clean before the Lord
Experience joy and gladness
Receive a clean heart and a right spirit
Enjoy intimacy with God through the Holy Spirit
Have a spirit that is willing to submit to God

When this is our experience then we can like David teach other sinners the ways of God so they could return to Him.
When we have been restored, God can take our failures and use them as teaching tools for others who are in the same situation or are on the verge of making the same errors we committed. Our testimony of restoration can be used to offer hope to others who are not walking in the freedom God wants them to experience.

God’s goal in revealing and dealing with sin is not punishment but restoration of our lives and our relationships. We can choose to deny the problem, delay our response or we can deal honestly and truthfully with what has been shown to us and begin the restoration process.
Let God have his way in your life when you encounter problems. Allow him access to your pain and he will bring more freedom than you could have imagined.