Love your neighbor as you love yourself
Relationships can bring the greatest joy or the greatest sorrow in our lives. Many people struggle with how to properly relate to other people and find themselves at a loss as to what they should say and how they should conduct themselves. Dean Sherman a teacher in YWAM states in his teaching on relationships, “Every problem in the world is a problem of relationships.” Problems most often involved people and unless we know how to have good relationships with one another there will always be unresolved issues that often lead to great disappointment and hardships. But before we can properly relate to one another we have to have a solid basis of love for ourselves. Jesus statement, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” gives us insight into how we should relate to each other and it begins with loving ourselves.
Most of us struggle with truly loving ourselves as we are. We see our faults and weakness and often wish we were not the person we are. We would much rather be like other people who seem to have the very things we lack. When we compare ourselves with others we can easily put ourselves down and think less of ourselves than is healthy or appropriate.
“Most young American and British girls are not feeling happy with their body image. The latest research showed that most of them are negatively influenced by advertisements.
According to international study commissioned by Dove, by the age 12 most girls have seen around 77,500 ads. Researchers questioned 2,000 girls from the UK and the US aged between 10 and 14 and found out that as much as 77 percent of them described themselves in negative terms. Many said they consider themselves ugly, fat and upset when comparing themselves with attractive images shown in advertisements.” (Source: Infoniac.com)
Body image is only one area among many in which we compare ourselves and come up short. We are not to compare ourselves because it often leads to denigration. We are to humble ourselves and see ourselves as we truly are. Humility never causes me to denigrate myself. A humble person has a meek spirit while a denigrated person has a crushed spirit. I love the Scripture that describes Jesus, “A bruised reed he will not break and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out till he leads justice to victory.” Mt. 12:20 Jesus wants to lift up those who are downtrodden and do not see themselves as someone worthy of being loved. He wants us to believe that we are loved and accepted by Him just as we are. He is the most important person in our lives and we must believe his words more than the words of the media or anyone else. If he loves us then we can love ourselves.
To truly love ourselves we have to see ourselves from God’s perspective. How I view myself will affect every relationship I have with God and other people. Our self identity has to come from God. He is our Creator and it was for his pleasure that He created us. God did not create us to abuse us or take delight in weird things He could do to us. We are the object of his love. His attention is focused on us. When a dignitary enters a room of people who are waiting for his or her arrival, all eyes are focused in that person. God looks at each one of us in the same way, we are the center of His attention. He created us in His likeness and image so we could have a solid basis to establish our identity and develop our relationship with Him. If we do not properly love ourselves then we do not understand who we are in the eyes of God. God is the Master Potter and we are his clay that he has fashioned and designed for a specific purpose and that is to know him and have a true relationship with him. Though we are flawed by sin in many ways we still bear the image and likeness of God. Through Christ we can be transformed to be more like God. I can love myself because God loves me and Christ is living in me and transforming me into his image and likeness. My value and worth have already been established by God and He paid the price for my redemption in order that I could be restored in fellowship with Him. God valued you and I enough to do everything that was necessary for us to be reconciled to him. You are valuable because you are loved by God. God is excited about you and the future he wants to co create with you. He delights in you, he finds great joy in you and he wants to enjoy you forever and he wants us to enjoy Him forever! My identity, value and worth have to come from God’s perspective and not my own or from other people.
We live in a world that is full of abuse and mistreatment of children and adults. It is estimated that there are more than 27 million people who are slaves of human trafficking. These people are treated as less than human and need to be rescued. My friend John came to Guatemala with his family and his pastor last week to build a home in San Pablo and minister to the children at Hermano Pedro hospital. While at Hermano Pedro, Dick Rutgers introduced us to some of the children. I will never forget the young boy whose parents had placed him in a hole to die. Someone found him and rescued him. He was brought to the hospital where he now lives. To his parents he was of little value or no value and was a burden to them because of his disabilities. Their solution was to put him in a hole and let him die. John told me a story of a man whom he met who has a ministry in India which involves rescuing children who are sold into slavery to work in the sex trade or other degrading tasks. His friend Paul, goes to places where they literally auction the children to the highest bidder. Paul bought 10 children, each cost him around $500. After he purchases them he places them in an orphanage where they can be loved and treated as a special creation of God. While at the auction a little girl with a crippled leg was placed on the auction block. The auctioneer asked the bidders, “How much will you give for that?” He did not even refer to her as a human being but a thing. Paul was the first and only bidder and he bid $500 for the girl. The other bidders were astonished that he would pay that much money. Several asked him afterward why he paid so much when he could have bought her for a lot less money. His reply came out of a heart of love, a heart that knows the true worth of an individual created in the likeness and image of God and is loved by God. He said he bid $500 because he wanted the girl to know that she was every bit as valuable as the other children he purchased. Can you imagine how this young girl felt after he bought her? This is only the first step in rebuilding the true identity of these children. It will take a lot of love and teaching of the Word of God to help them see themselves as God sees them.
If we do not see ourselves as God sees us we will always be striving to gain acceptance according to someone else’s standards. We will find it difficult to measure up to the standard and we will never become the person God created us to be. Our self esteem and self image will rise and fall depending on our performance to the standard of others. We will become captives of them and our identity will never truly be discovered and developed. This is nothing but a ploy of the devil to undermine God’s purposes and plans for our lives. He does not want us to develop our potential and realize the wonderful gifts and talents God has placed in each one of us. He wants to push us into a hole, make us feel like we are less than dirt, with no value or worth. He knows that if we truly love ourselves we will treat other people differently. We can demonstrate love to our neighbor and reveal God’s love to them thus destroying Satan’s intentions of robbing, killing and destroying God’s creation. Satan will always attack our identity and bring accusations against us and God. He successfully accomplished this in the Garden of Eden when he convinced Eve that her true identity was being suppressed by God. He convinced her that she could be like God and find her true identity. When Christ was tempted in the wilderness the devil also questioned his identity, “If you are the Son of God…” If we lose our true identity we also will lose our true value and worth. Once we lose these things life becomes chaotic and full of confusion. We don’t know what to believe or who to believe. Our moral values become relative and our true purpose in living is hidden. Instead of loving others we begin to exploit them and use them for our purposes.
When we truly love our neighbor as ourselves we will treat them with dignity, honor, respect and a willingness on our part to sacrifice for their benefit. E. Stanley Jones was a missionary to India from 1907 to his death in 1973. He was considered a missionary statesman and was nominated for the Nobel Prize several times and was awarded the Gandhi Peace Prize in 1961. He was a master in developing relationships with people of other beliefs yet never compromised his belief in Christ as the only Savior. He taught that there are 5 different ways in which we try to get along with others.
1. We try to dominate them. We try to control everything and make them subservient to our demands and desires. We use our power to force people to do what we want them to do. These relationships inevitably break down or lead to a revolt against the leadership. They are totally contrary to the law of love God has established as the basis of our relationships and they are destined to fail. They are marked by selfishness and self centeredness. Insecure people often use domination and control tactics to secure their positions. Insecure leaders fear workers or staff who show creativity and initiative and frequently try to stifle them or figure out ways they can be given credit for what others have accomplished. When we try to dominate and control we oppress people. Oppressed people will not develop their potential and will not give their best efforts to leaders who oppress them because their hearts are not involved in their work.
2. We try to stay aloof from others. This is the opposite of trying to dominate others. We retreat from people, hide in our own protective shell and stay away from human interaction. We cannot be fully human apart from the interaction of other people. Often people who are aloof live in their own fantasy world where they do not have to deal with problems that are involved in relationships. They may also stay aloof because they do not value themselves and see themselves as inferior, not worthy of having a relationship with others. Who would love me? May be the question that drives their aloofness. God created us to be in relationships and apart from relationships we will never become the person God intended us to be. There was a reason God created Eve that goes beyond having children to fill the earth. She was his help meet, she was needed by Adam and Adam was needed by Eve. Whether we want to admit it or not, we need each other. When we use the analogy of the body and how necessary each of its organs are we understand more clearly how much we need each other and how debilitating it can be when one part decides to take the day off and stay away from everyone. Imagine your heart deciding it was going to rest for the day and not beat or your arms decides to not move. It would be a disaster yet in our human relations we do not seem to care as much nor see the damages that happen when we stay aloof.
3. We become indifferent toward others. We really don’t care one way or another about them. We do not want to invest time and energy into the relationship and just let it fall by the wayside. Having a relationship with the person is not a priority and we have a take it or leave it attitude. This type of relationship will not produce anything beneficial for either party and will lead to frustration.
People also act indifferent because they think someone else is going to do what needs to be done. They do not get involved because they assume someone else will do it. This attitude can led to tragic results especially when someone’s life is in danger. Bible.org gave this haunting illustration of what can happen when people choose to be indifferent.
“Kitty Genovese was the young woman who was murdered in a New York residential section while at least 38 neighbors watched from their windows. During the course of the 30-minute assault, no one even telephoned the police.
Recent studies have uncovered some surprising facts about these people. Interviews revealed that they were not totally indifferent as many had suspected. The main reason nobody did anything was that each person thought someone else would take the initiative to get help.”
Indifference causes us to not act, not pursue a relationship, not care about the plight of another person and as this story illustrates can lead to tragic results. Indifference is the sign of a cold heart and a selfish heart.
4. We can work with the person. We choose to cooperate with them to get things done and be civil to each other but we never enter into a deeper level of understanding and care for them. We hold back our inner thoughts, keep things at a surface level and never go beyond this level. On the outside it looks like we are conforming to the law of love but this is far below what God’s kingdom requires of us. We sometimes find ourselves in relationships with fellow workers that are not necessarily bad relationship in fact they may be considered good or friendly but we never go beyond or go deeper to get to know the heart of the person. When this is our attitude we never get to experience the full benefit of really knowing the other person. We do not discover who they are in their heart of hearts and miss out on the wonderful things they can contribute to our lives and they do not receive what we can offer them. We tend to see people as fulfilling a task or doing a ministry and that is how we relate to them. We work together to accomplish a mission yet never get to know the person with any depth of understanding.
5. Work with and for others. The focus of my relationship now changes and I become willing to do for them what I want them to do for me. I am making an investment into the relationship and am thinking about what will be best for them. I do things for their benefit and not mine. I am willing to sacrifice and give generously to help them. This is the law of love, this is loving your neighbor as you love yourself. This is the basis of relationships that God has established in His Kingdom. The Kingdom of God will only operate on the foundation of love for God, love for yourself and love for your neighbor. This kind of love sees the needs of others because it is not focused on personal needs. This kind of love intentionally does things for the benefit of the other person and enjoys doing it! It does not seek to be rewarded but finds pleasure in blessing the other person. It gives without thought of getting something in return. This kind of love is sacrificial, it is willing to give at its own expense even if it is costly or puts them in an inconvenient position or causes them to be delayed.
The Bible in eight different passages tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves (Lev. 19:18, Matt. 19:19, Matt. 23:39, Mark 12:31, Luke 10:27, Rom. 13:9; Gal. 5:14; James 2:8). To be repeated this often indicates the level of importance God places on it. In fact all of the laws of the OT can be fulfilled in the observance of one law-to love your neighbor.
We can demonstrate love to our neighbor in many ways. One very important thing we can do is to pray for them. God can do more through our prayers than we can accomplish on our own. We are limited but He is unlimited in what He can do in response to our prayers. Sharing the gospel message is probably the greatest gift we can give to our neighbor. If we truly love them we will want them to know the Savior. If we are limited in our ability to communicate to them we can give them a tract or a book or invite them to come to a service with us. How can we say we love our neighbor and not be concerned for the eternal destiny of their soul?
Our love can also be demonstrated through acts of kindness to them. Giving assistance, food, clothing or finances can have a tremendous impact on the life of someone who does not know Christ. Last week I was with a group that built a home for a family of 8. The dad was a wood cutter and made Q25 per day. He told us that he would never have been able to have a home like the one we built on the limited finances he has. When we dedicated the house, I told him it was a house of God’s love because it was God’s love that motivated the people to help his family. I will never forget the excitement of the daughter named Jesus when we assembled the triple bunk bed in the house. She had never had her own bed and slept across the width of the bed she shared with others, with her legs hanging over the side. She was so thankful and appreciative to finally have her own bed with a mattress to sleep on! One of the block layers told Pastor Efrain that he was going to start going to his church because he had seen the love of God demonstrated through the works of the team.
When we give food away in Panabaj to the refugee camp I always tell the people that the food is a demonstration of God’s love and care for them. I want them to know the true source and motivation for the acts of kindness shown to them. I want them to see God as a benevolent, kind and loving God who cares for them and has not abandoned them.
Another way we can demonstrate love is by providing work and training or education so that people can provide for themselves and their families. I would encourage you to think of people you could employ for either short or long term jobs in your ministry. Maybe there is a neighbor boy or girl who could do some things for you and earn some money while developing a relationship with you. Micro loans are also another way to help people start their own business. Sponsoring children to attend school is an inexpensive way to invest in someone’s future and give them an opportunity to change their circumstances.
We have many opportunities to demonstrate the love of God to our neighbors and the people in need. Acts 10:38 summarized the life of Jesus in these words, “…How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.” Acts 10:38
I pray that this will be true of all of our lives as we seek to love God and love our neighbor as we love ourselves. The world needs to see a revolution of God’s love flowing out through his body of believers. I believe that as we act in love the hearts of people will be open to receive the message of salvation and the works of the devil will be destroyed. May God show each one of us tangible ways to demonstrate his love in the days to come.
