Imagine that you are the recipient of this letter.
Dear Abby,
I have really sad and disturbing news to report to you and I really need your prayers and advice as to what I should do. Last night my fiancée shocked me with news that she is pregnant! Abby, I am not the father of this baby, I have never had sexual relations with my fiancée and she even admitted that she had a relationship with another guy. It was a one night thing but that is all it takes to completely change a relationship. I felt betrayed by her, I felt as though I was talking to a person that I did not know and I never in my life expected this to happen. I am faced with a decision as to what I should do. I have lost trust in her and I am not sure I could live with the fact that she had a relationship with someone else when she had made a commitment to a future with me. I am angry and upset and I ask for your prayers for me during this trying time. I really loved her but now everything has changed and I don’t know what I should do. Please pray for me!
Joseph
This very well could have been a letter written by Joseph. Tonight I want to look at his life and walk with him as he faced the news bomb that Mary dropped on him and find out how he dealt with it. We live in a culture in Guatemala that in many cases venerates Mary the mother of Jesus but does little to honor Joseph. Joseph is a great example for us as we look at his life we will discover that he was truly a man whom God could entrust one of the greatest responsibilities in the world. Joseph was a man like us who faced some incredible challenges but he possessed a character that is marked by integrity, humility, obedience, responsibility and faithfulness.
Joseph came for a royal background but you would have never known it by his occupation as a carpenter. He was a descendent from King David. He had a heritage he could be proud of and I am sure he was surprised when he looked back and had understanding of Jesus being the promised Messiah that he was the last link in the chain. Through him the prophecy was fulfilled that was spoken to David many years previously. But at the time of his engagement to Mary, he did not know that God was going to use him to rear the Messiah when he came to the earth to fulfill his mission of salvation. When Mary announced she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit, Joseph’s head must have been spinning. He did not know what to make of this announcement, it seemed unreal, unbelievable and in his own thinking and after a pregnant pause, he determined that it was better to break off the engagement which was equal to a divorce to spare himself the embarrassment of his fiancé’s pregnancy. Joseph could have broken the engagement in a public ceremony which would have brought shame to Mary. The Old Testament Law would not have been merciful to Mary, she would have been viewed with contempt if people found out she was pregnant.
There were 3 phases to a relationship between a married couple. The first phase was the engagement. This was usually arranged by the parents or a matchmaker and could happen when the two parties were very young. Before entering into the next phase of betrothal the girl could choose to not go through with the next phase. If she chose to be betrothed to the man and entered into the agreement it was considered binding.
.” They were engaged (betrothed) before two witnesses. The man would give the woman a present; her father would pay a dowry. If the man died, she would be called a widow. If the woman died, he would be called a widower. If the engagement broke up, it would be called a divorce. During the time they were engaged, they were called husband and wife. While they were engaged, they were to be virgins and they were to have no sexual intercourse prior to marriage. The engagement was to last one year and then they were to be married. If a woman became pregnant by another man, she could be stoned to death. Eduard F. Markquart
Mary’s announcement to him was hard to take and I am sure he wondered about her fidelity and faithfulness to him. He may have felt betrayed by the women he loved and wondered why she would go through with this act of adultery. What did he do that would cause her to have an affair with another man? Really what kind of woman was Mary? All of these questions and disappointments filled his thinking and the only option he saw was to divorce her, cancel the engagement and wedding. I think most men would have felt the same way if their fiancée announced she was pregnant and you knew you were not the father. It is obvious that Joseph was a man of morals and high standards. He was a man of integrity who lived out what he believed. I think his initial response to the announcement of Mary’s pregnancy was one that reflected his high morals and concern for obedience to the law of Moses. Our world today at least in many countries does not think badly of a woman who is pregnant before she is married. In the USA 80% of the children born to black mothers are born into a single parent family. In Sweden 80% of the people living together do not marry yet see no problem having children in a non committed relationship. I remember growing up that when a girl became pregnant before marriage it was not looked upon favorably, there was a certain shame that went with it because there was a standard of morality that people held to that did not approve of pregnancy before marriage. Joseph was from the old school of morality and he could not envision marrying a woman who was pregnant by another man.
We see in Joseph his compassion for Mary. He could have made a big scene about her pregnancy but he gave preference to divorcing her privately with 2 witnesses as was the custom. I see Joseph as a hurt man yet a tender man who did not want to make things more difficult for Mary. He was obviously disappointed in what had happened yet he chose to end the relationship with the least amount of damage to her. How different that is from what we see and read about when relationships end today. Often it is not done peacefully and there are usually accusations and harmful words and actions that leave deeper wounds than already exist.
God understood where Joseph was at in this dilemma and he sent an angel to him in a dream. The angel said,” Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to go ahead with your marriage to Mary. For the child within her has been conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people. (Matthew 1:20-22)
This message is exactly what Joseph needed to hear to calm his fears and doubts. We see the loving-kindness of God in the visitation of the angel and in the message delivered. It seems a little strange to me that God would speak in a dream to him rather than send the angel to appear to him like Mary experienced. Mary had no doubts that she had seen an angel but it would seem that a dream would not be as certain. I have had many dreams that were very vivid but I am glad that they were only dreams and not reality. I would have died a long time ago and horrible things would have happened if they were true. Yet God must have trusted Joseph to know that he would believe the dream, that the dream would be strong enough evidence to cause him to change his mind about the divorce. Joseph must have been familiar with the Old Testament stories of angels appearing in dreams to convey a message from God. Joseph had faith in God and he knew God had sent the angel to him to instruct him regarding his decision. Someone once said big decisions need big guidance and confirmation. This was one of those big decisions that really needed big confirmation. It is an encouragement to us as we seek to follow the Lord and are faced with big decisions that have our head spinning at times. God understands what we need to guide us and he will be faithful to give us the confirmations that we need. When the angel addressed Joseph he reminded him of his heritage by calling him the son of David. This was the lineage of the Messiah and Joseph needed to be reminded of it. The angel explained the pregnancy of Mary and assured Joseph that the Holy Spirit was involved just as Mary had said. His greatest doubt and fear was calmed and Joseph could proceed confidently and not have to worry about what other people may say or think. God settled the issue in his mind and Joseph could move forward with his life with Mary. The angel also instructed him what to name the baby. Naming a child is an important thing for parents. I remember looking through name books for my daughter and trying to think of a name that had significance, not just one that sounded good or was popular at the time. The name that Joseph was to give would become the most powerful name on earth. At his name every knee will bow and tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. At his name demons will flee, at his name sickness and disease will be healed and the dead will rise and salvation will be given to all who believe in his Name. What a powerful and wonderful name Joseph would have the honor of announcing to everyone.
When Joseph woke up from his dream he immediately did what the Lord asked of him. He brought Mary home to be his wife, to care for her and this Messiah who was forming in her womb. He no longer rejected her but he embraced her and came along side the sovereign work of God to bring salvation to his people. How exciting it must have been for him to watch Mary grow and know that the baby was the long awaited Messiah.
Joseph was a man of humility. We do not read of him making great boasts about what God was doing through Mary and him. We do not read of him defending himself or hiding Mary from public view. He was a humble man who walked in obedience to the Lord. I picture Joseph as a faithful husband, tenderly caring for his wife and the child being formed. He worked his job as a carpenter to be a faithful provider for his wife and child. I see Joseph as a man of responsibility who took seriously his role as the father of Jesus. He was a humble servant and a loving husband to his wife. Joseph had an important role to play in the life of Mary and Jesus. He was not going to be the star, the attention would not be focused on him but that was not important to him. His desire was to be obedient to the Lord, to care for his wife and be a provider for his family. Joseph had deep respect for Mary and for the Lord as witnessed by his self control to keep his wife a virgin until Jesus was born. He did not want to interfere in what God. The word on the street was most likely that Joseph had gotten Mary pregnant. But Joseph knew the truth and he was willing to accept the false accusations while maintaining a pure relationship with Mary. This is pretty extraordinary if you ask me. Newlyweds who have kept themselves pure look forward to consummating their relationship. Yet Joseph and Mary were given the grace to be able to wait until Jesus was born. Joseph is a model of self control. He understood what was at stake. He saw a greater mission and cause than satisfying his own personal needs. When we walk in self control we are able to give priority to the things that are most important and we are willing to lay down our own personal desire to be able to fulfill the most important mission. Self control and self discipline are two things that are not in great abundance today in many people’s lives. Living for the moment is given greater value than delaying and waiting for things to be enjoyed at the proper time. Delayed gratification is not a value of many people and it has led to the destruction of many lives. Joseph was willing to lay down his rights as a husband in order to protect the child and protect the reputation of both he and Mary. He lived his life with a higher purpose in mind through the grace and self control he was given.
The next part of the story of Joseph’s life centers on the birth of Christ. Mary and Joseph were forced to go to Bethlehem to be registered in the census. I am sure Joseph was not real eager to take his very pregnant wife on a journey imposed by the Roman government. I would have looked at it as very bad timing and probably would have sought out other options but Joseph was obedient to the law of the land and took Mary on the journey. Perhaps he knew the Scriptures in Micah 5:2 that prophesied that Christ would be born in Bethlehem so maybe there was some excitement about its fulfillment happening on this voyage. I imagine that Joseph felt rejection when he inquired at the inn for a room for his pregnant wife. What kind of man was this innkeeper to let a 9 month pregnant woman sleep in an area reserved for animals? I know I would have been bewildered and would have wondered if this person had an ounce of compassion. Yet Joseph seemed to deal with it and though he would have wanted a better place for his wife to give birth, God was in control and had a purpose in this unlikely place for a Messiah to be born. Joseph’s humility is demonstrated again in his acceptance of this manger to be a place where they would spend the night. After the birth of Jesus the shepherds came to worship the new born King. Perhaps Joseph was initially concerned about their sudden appearance after all shepherds where not considered to be people of great reputation and they were complete strangers to Mary and Joseph. Yet after they announced that they too had been visited by an angel announcing the birth of the Messiah joy must have flooded his heart. The reality of Jesus the Messiah was clearly communicated and confirmed by the Lord. Joseph was at peace, knowing that what he believed and what Mary had been told was truly God’s plan. If there was any doubt the appearance of the shepherds with the news they brought removed the doubt and there was great joy as they joined in worship of the King. God rewards those who walk by faith and obedience to him. This moment was a reward for both Mary and Joseph for their faithfulness to the Lord to carry out his will. They were the first to see the Messiah, the first to hold him, the first to embrace him and kiss him. A Kodak memory like none other. How privileged he must have felt, how honored he was to be at his wife’s side when she gave birth to the long awaited and promised Messiah. I will always remember the birth of my daughter. I was able to be in the room when she was born. I can still see her face immediately after she was born and I remember the joy in seeing her brought into the world. Joseph had the same opportunity but how much more special it was knowing that this baby would be the Messiah.
The wise men from the East came to Bethlehem to worship the King and bring gifts to him. Again I think of how Joseph must have felt when these men arrived and gave such extravagant gifts to Jesus. Gold was the gift for a king, it was a precious metal that had great value. Perhaps this gold was used to meet the financial needs Joseph and Mary had on the next step of their journey. Frankincense is the gift for a priest. It is used in the temple worship and sacrifices. Its fragrance was sweet. The priest was the bridge builder between God and man. Jesus would be the final priest who would bridge the gap between God and man through his sacrificial death. The third gift the wise men brought was myrrh which was used to embalm dead bodies. Jesus came to die for our sins, this was his mission. Joseph again must have been amazed at what God was doing to confirm that this young child was truly the Promised Messiah who would be a King like none other, a Priest who would reconcile men to God and a sacrifice for the sins of man.
Joseph, Mary and Jesus soon had to flee to Egypt to protect the Messiah from Herod’s edict which demanded the death of all males 2 years old and under. Again an angel appears to Joseph in a dream and instructs him to flee immediately with Mary and Jesus to Egypt. By now Joseph is well aware of who Jesus is and he responds in obedience to go to Egypt. Instant obedience is what God requires of us when he reveals truth to us. There was no time to debate or doubt or delay. It was imperative that they go immediately and not return until he was given those instructions. Isn’t this true of our lives today? We are to respond in obedience to what God has revealed to us and go where he wants us to go and only leave when He tells us to leave. How many people have ended the mission before God has said it is time to move on to the next place. How many people have grown impatient or did not like living in another culture with its inconveniences and have decided to abort the mission? God called them and they were convinced that this is what he wanted but they left the field before it was time and missed out on what God was doing in their lives as well as in the lives of the people they lived among. You may be feeling pulled to go home, it is definitely a strong thing around Christmas and Thanksgiving. Maybe you have grown a little weary and would love to go back home where things were a little easier and more comfortable. Don’t go until the Lord says it is time to go. Set aside your feelings and desires and commit yourself to fulfill his plan in the place he has called you! Trust the Holy Spirit to guide your steps and move you on at the proper time.
Joseph obeyed and stayed until the Lord directed him back through another dream in which the angel told him it was time to return. But when he returned he was fearful because Archelaus was the new ruler appointed over Judea. Archelaus was even more ruthless than his father Herod. He began his rule by killing 3000 of the most influential people in the country. Joseph knew it would not be safe to return there and again an angel directed him to go to Nazareth and make his home there. Again we see the care and concern of Joseph for well being of his family and his obedience to follow the instructions of the angel. Joseph was not willing to put Jesus and Mary at risk and jeopardize their lives. This is the mark of a great father who is willing to put the needs of his family, their safety and security as a top priority. We need men to be like Joseph who will set the Lord before them and make obedience to God their priority. We need men who will be humble servants who will look after the needs of their families and make it a priority. We have too many examples and stories today of men who have abandoned their families and walked away from their responsibilities to provide for their children. In the state of Nebraska they passed a law that stated that any unwanted child could be dropped off at hospitals so they could be placed in a loving home. The law was designed to give new bornes a home instead of finding them in a dumpster. Unfortunately, young people of all ages were dropped off because their parents no longer wanted them. Can you imagine what it must be like for these children who are abandoned and told they are not wanted. The legislature of Nebraska had to rewrite the law to keep parents from shirking their responsibilities. The greatest addiction of teenagers today is love addiction. Many have been abandoned by their parents and they are looking for love, looking for a relationship that they did not experience with their parents. (Dawson McAllister address to SW Seminary). Many of these young people are unwilling to leave an abusive relationship because they fear being alone. Only 29% of all teens say they are going to get married. The 71% who say they will not marry perhaps have seen the damage of broken relationships within their families. Joseph is a model of a faithful man who gave his life in service to his God and his family. He had an important job to fulfill and he took it seriously.
It saddens me to hear of stories in Guatemala of wives being abused by their husbands and then to hear that the father of the abused spouse simply tells her to accept it because it is normal. What kind of dad is that who does not care for the safety and security of his daughter? Do you realize that today there about 27 million women and young boys and girls who are sold into slavery and are being used in the sex industry and forced labor? Where are the fathers who are willing to rescue them and protect them? Sadly many of the fathers have abandoned their wives and children or have given consent to their behavior to provide money for the family. Here are some statistics compiled by Fathers For Life regarding children from fatherless homes in the USA:
Children from fatherless homes are:
• 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide,
• 6.6 times to become teenaged mothers (if they are girls, of course),
• 24.3 times more likely to run away,
• 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders,
• 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions,
• 10.8 times more likely to commit rape,
• 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school,
• 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager.
Fatherless homes and fathers who neglect their responsibilities are destroying the lives of their children. We need more men like Joseph who see the danger and take action to provide security for the family. We need to pray that God will raise up a generation of Josephs who will give priority to their family and not abandon them and leave them destitute and unprotected. Jesus needed his earthly father to care for him and nurture him. Every child needs and deserves the same.
Joseph is a model for men in many ways. He modeled integrity, compassion, humility, purity, responsibility, faith, obedience to the Lord, care, concern, safety and provision for his family. God entrusted a great responsibility to Joseph because he knew Joseph’s character. How about you? Could God entrust great responsibilities to you? Is your character such that God would be able to count on you to fulfill an important mission?
Many of you young men will one day be a father. It is one of the greatest privileges and responsibilities you will ever have. Will you be a father like Joseph or will you follow the ways of the world and abandon your responsibilities to pursue your own selfish interests? I pray that tonight you will determine in your heart to follow the example of Joseph and be a man whom God can entrust great responsibilities.
An audio file of this message can be downloaded at the following link:
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=450735356.wma
